


I Still Love You

by RogerTaylorsCar



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Children, Drinking, M/M, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-02-01 02:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21347176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogerTaylorsCar/pseuds/RogerTaylorsCar
Summary: Freddie and Roger have been divorced for years, yet they still share a house and take care of their kids together. Soon they realize their marriage might be worth another try.
Relationships: Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34
Collections: Froger!Week 2019





	I Still Love You

Freddie and Roger are the showcase divorcees. Even after two years, they're good friends and still live in the same house since neither of them bother to move out. It's their home and it should stay this way. It also holds lots of memories that make it hard to leave. Besides, the divorce wasn't too problematic; they just found at some point that they didn't work as spouses anymore the way they had used to. One of the few problems was the fact that the couple has two little kids - twins who were only five years old by the time their parents split up. Of course, it wasn't easy at all for the children, but Roger never told them exactly why he and Freddie broke up. When asked, he always said they had different values concerning family and marriage. They both tried to keep as much trouble away from them as possible.

The thing that was most important to them was that they share custody. This way they could both watch their kids grow up without any restrictions regarding visit days and they figured the twins would feel better if both their parents spent equally as much time with them. Obviously, it works because little Chloe and Violet still seem to think of themselves and their dads as a family. But everytime the girls say they're happy they could work it out, neither Roger nor Freddie have the heart to tell them the truth. In fact, they couldn't work the problems in their relationship out. It would be great if they could, but that is only a dream.

On a different note, it's conspicuous that none of them have made any effort to find a new partner. They had some flings here and there, but never anything serious. Maybe they think their daughters couldn't get used to two new people in their lives, maybe they have no interest in being with someone else long-term or maybe they find it disrespectful to be with somebody while the ex still lives with them. Anyway, they never really know how the other feels inside and that's one of the major changes. While they were married, they seemed to know what's on their husband's mind at all times.

"Alright, Violet, here we go!" Roger says as he helps Violet put on her school bag.

He kneels down so he's on eye-level with his kids. "Daddy's going to pick you up later and bring you to your grandparents, okay? You can stay overnight if you want, we talked to them about it."

The girls nod excitedly and hug their father. "Have fun!" He gives them a kiss on the cheek before waving them goodbye as they start to run upstairs.

Only Chloe stops and walks back to Roger. "What's the matter, petal?" he asks softly, stroking her hair.

"Are you and daddy going out tonight?" Her question sounds almost hopeful. As if she's looking forward for them to go on a date again.

He shakes his head, a sad smile on his face. "No, why?"

She looks down at her feet, murmuring, "I just wish everything could be like before."

"Me too, love." You might not believe it, but he misses those times too. He really does. Probably even more than Chloe.

"Why did you break up then?"

Honestly, at this point, he doesn't know either. "You can't do much about that, you know? Daddy and I… we don't love each other anymore as much as we used to a few years ago," he sighs.

He's lying to himself. At least part of it isn't true. He does love Freddie, even after everything that happened. Sure, he wasn't an angel, but neither was Roger. Yes, they've both done bad things and yes, they should have tried harder to save their marriage, but now it's too late. Too late to say 'let's give it another try'.

There was a time Roger thought he could live without him, but he was wrong. He can survive, but he can't live. His only consolation is that he hasn't completely lost him, as they still share a home and see each other every day. It's gotten so far that he refers to Freddie as his husband when talking to people and regularly has to correct himself. He wishes he could turn back time. Although he's pretty certain his ex doesn't feel the same for him, he likes to comfort himself by remembering that at least he got to spend almost ten years with the love of his life and that is better than nothing.

"But now you have to go or you'll be late for class and we don't want that, do we?" he adds and smiles down at Chloe, patting her shoulder.

"See you tomorrow, papa!" She leaves and gives him a small wave before disappearing in the building.

Another thing he's thankful for are his and Freddie's children. They are the most important people in his life and he loves them more than anything. Only thinking back to the times when they were toddlers and always finding them cuddled up to Freddie after their goodnight stories leaves a bittersweet feeling in his guts. Roger has thought of Freddie as the perfect dad ever since they brought the topic of kids up and nothing about that has changed. He admires how his ex husband's behaviour towards their daughters hasn't changed at all after the divorce. The four of them can still have fun together and neither of the parents try to get the children on their side. Even though they aren't a real family anymore, they try to act like one when the girls are around. He enjoys every single minute with them, even if it's just dropping them off at school in the morning.

The moment he finally gets into the car, he takes his phone out. 'Anniversary!!!' the calendar still tells him urgently as a reminder that if he hadn't royally fucked their marriage up, this could have been their eighth wedding anniversary. He didn't forget it; he never would. But why did they have to choose today for their night in without the kids? It could have been any other day, but seriously? This day can only get worse…

* * *

"Good evening, Rog!" Freddie calls almost too cheerfully for Roger's taste as he comes home.

"Evening," the blond murmurs, scribbling down some song lyrics in his notebook before putting it on the coffee table and leaning back.

The moment Freddie sits down next to him, Roger gets a strange feeling. It's been a while since they've been at home for an entire night without the kids. They used to drop them off at Freddie's parents or Brian and John sometimes when they felt like going out together, but the last time they did that was about three years ago. On the very rare occasion when the children are somewhere else for the night, they invite people over, but tonight isn't one of those nights.

"How're you?" he asks, his eyes flicking towards the notebook he got Roger for Christmas four years ago. He didn't think he'd keep using it.

"Good," the younger man lies through his teeth. Do you really expect him to tell his ex husband he's still in love with him right after he comes home?

"Quiet without the kids, isn't it?"

Roger just nods, silently praying for him to stop trying to keep small talk and either change the subject or shut up.

"Nevermind," Freddie sighs and walks into the kitchen. "Want a drink? I brought some wine," he calls.

"Yeah, why not," he calls back. _Thank you, God! Finally something to distract him from his stupid thoughts…_

A minute later, he steps into the living room with a bottle and two glasses and puts them on the table. "Here we go," he says as he pours both of them a glass, handing one to Roger. "Cheers."

"Happy anniversary," Freddie adds quietly, taking a sip of his drink.

Roger freezes, lowering his half empty glass. This is what he's been afraid of all day - that Freddie would bring this up. This anniversary is vastly different from their previous ones. They used to spend them at a restaurant or on vacation or sometimes a romantic night at home, but this is just… a night at home. There's nothing romantic about it, except maybe the wine, but that's more of a coping method in this context.

"Yeah, happy eight years." His voice cracks a bit after the first two words. More like six years, actually, but today could be the eighth.

There's a long moment of silence as they continue drinking. "I love the girls, but don't you want to be alone more often?" Freddie asks, staring at the framed family photos on top of the mantelpiece.

"What do you mean?" Roger knows what he means, but he wants him to say it out loud, just to be sure he's not alone.

He turns his head to look at Roger. "It's been so long, don't you think? Just you and me, I mean…"

The younger man swallows and puts his glass down. "Yeah, I kinda miss this."

Another pause follows as he refills their glasses. "What happened?" Freddie murmurs, probably hoping Roger doesn't hear it, but he does.

"We got a divorce," he replies plainly, only taking a small sip of his wine.

"I know, but… _what happened_?" He frantically waves his hand between the two of them.

At first Roger was glad he brought this topic up because he thought it would be easier to tell him what's going on in his head, but now he hates how he's being exposed to what went wrong with their marriage. He knows it wasn't entirely his fault, but maybe he shouldn't have been so stubborn about some things.

"I'm sorry, Fred," Roger whispers, looking down at his glass.

"Hey," Freddie scoots closer to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. "I should be sorry. It was the lack of commitment on my part that ruined everything."

"I don't blame you to be honest," the blond speaks up, letting out a breathy laugh. "We rarely had sex after the kids, so of course you were looking for others to do that when I didn't want to-"

"Don't say that. Perhaps we got married too young, but if I had the choice now, I would marry you," he blurts out.

Roger looks up, not quite believing his words. "I mean it," he adds in a manner that makes it impossible to think he's lying. "I still love you."

How long it has been since the last time he heard those words directed at him… And not in a platonic way or from his children. Especially hearing it from Freddie, _his ex husband_, for the first time after three years makes him unsure of how to feel. Should he be happy that he feels the same as Roger or sad because he's thrown it all away and divorced him?

"I love you too."

It's a barely audible confession and they both don't know what exactly is happening. Neither of them say anything until Freddie leans forward and presses his lips against Roger's, gently holding his face. It's obvious that he's trying to compensate for these past years in which they haven't shared any physical affection. Though surprised, Roger doesn't hesitate a second to kiss him back, climbing on Freddie's lap and clinging on to him as if he would slip away any moment. The kiss doesn't seem to end and gets deeper with every passing second. They don't want to let go of each other, but when they do pull away, Roger asks, "Can we start all over again?"

The older man nods, running his fingers through Roger's hair. "If you give me a second chance."

"Of course I do." He holds him closer and rests his head on Freddie's shoulder, nuzzling his neck. "Are we gonna get married again?" he asks jokingly, yet a hint of hope in his voice.

"I still have the rings, you know…" Freddie smiles.


End file.
